i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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