Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
