I wish I only lived at night.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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