Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Randomize