remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
