he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize