I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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