im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
