we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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