theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
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Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
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I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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