Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
i think we sleep fucked last night...
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
