Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
