break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Randomize
