No, drunk sperm still make babies.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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