Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
