omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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