She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
