did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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