you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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