You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
How many fucks given?
0.12846
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize