she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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