I think im going to throw up on grandma
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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