why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
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you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
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All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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