I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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