I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize