So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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