I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
