playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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