the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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