I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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