tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
