oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
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All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
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uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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