so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
