Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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