A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Randomize
