Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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