Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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