I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
