If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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