Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
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I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I want her autograph on my taint
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
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Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
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