If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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