he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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