okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Randomize