Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
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I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
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We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
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