..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize