Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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