I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
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The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
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note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
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