U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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