this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
