happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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