Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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