I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
