she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
