What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Randomize
