yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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