i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
