Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Randomize
