she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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